Were you surprised when anger flared up and you unexpectedly lashed out at a loved one? Do you want to know how to stop being angry with the people you love?
Everyone gets furious occasionally, and some people have an anger problem. Anger is sometimes regarded as a “negative” or “bad” emotion that we have been taught to repress and dismiss. After all, if we let our emotions control us, our actions can have harmful effects or cause us to harm ourselves or others. Misdirected anger may have a deadly impact on your most crucial relationships, regardless of whether this is a relatively new behavior for you or one you’ve lived with for most of your life. It would help if you didn’t keep swallowing the toxic concoction of regret and humiliation that frequently follows an outburst of wrath.
To control anger, however, you must first understand it and then learn how to manage angry outbursts and emotionally regulate emotions to restrict yourself and express them in healthy ways.
Here are five suggestions that will tell you how to stop being angry and regain control if you frequently lash out and hurt your loved ones;
Know early signs of anger
The key to learning is to control your temper when it’s needed. As you feel the first wave of rage, pay attention to what’s happening in your body. Every episode of anger begins with a fight-or-flight response. Do you feel any pressure in your stomach or chest? Are you flushed? Have your teeth or wrists clenched? Is your mouth feeling dry? Heart pounding? Determine which sensation typically manifests first. Then ride the angry wave and impulse to lash out until you reach the figurative shore. Try to mentally recreate a recent outburst of rage before repeatedly practicing surfing the emotions. Emotions don’t last long if we don’t.
Understand your reasons
You are not alone if you frequently lash out at those you care about. Understanding the root of your irrational anger will aid in your healing and enable you to halt your outbursts. There are various reasons why we behave in this way.
You may be acting out of self-preservation or remembering a traumatic event. According to Psychology Matters, if you mistreat your significant other, you might try to keep them from hurting you. Working over these worries might be beneficial so they no longer impact you.
We let our feelings out on them because we feel comfortable among the people we love the most.
Create a calm mindset.
When difficulties happen, maintain your composure. People who practice mindfulness learn to concentrate so that their thoughts don’t run uncontrolled. You can practice awareness in anything that you do. Take note of the walking process, for instance. Focus on each action. While you move, pay attention to how your body feels. Don’t focus on undesirable thoughts; just let them go. Return your focus to how walking feels once they appear. To unwind and let go of tension, try mindfulness. You’ll discover how to concentrate on your desired thoughts while letting others fade.
Learn about your unfulfilled needs.
Sit quietly and look for your unmet need when anger starts to mount, but you’re not sure why. In a journal, express your feelings without restraint. Or you might meditate while observing any pain or tension in your body. What makes you uncomfortable?
What in your life isn’t going well?
Do you feel fear?
What worries you?
What tools are at your disposal to assist you?
Who can you turn to for encouragement or guidance?
Be aware that it takes time and practice to control inappropriate rage.
The eventual goal, whether with a therapist or on your own—and practicing those skills constantly—should be learning to regulate and explain your feelings long before you explode. At the same time, in-the-moment methods like going on a fury run might be a valuable component of your anger toolkit.
It highlights the necessity of patience, practice, and the significance of emphasizing progress rather than perfection. The only thing we can do for ourselves—and for one another—is to give ourselves the compassion and time to evaluate how we react to life’s curveballs and tough patches; all this will make one learn how to stop being angry with the people you love.
Everyone experiences moments of irritation, anger, and frustration. It’s common to experience unpleasant days. Take the time to evaluate your mental state, stress level, and triggers if you are experiencing more bad days than good ones. If you take time for yourself, your loved ones will benefit from finding calm and release from the poison that can result from neglecting your own needs.